Legend Valley – How To Survive

In less than a week, punk rockers (at least those who are 21 and up) will travel across this never great nation to the fabulous vacation spot of… Thornville, Ohio.


So what’s causing this pilgrimage to the Midwest? After four years, the Punk in Drublic Festival has returned. And this one is bittersweet, not going to lie. After 40 years of fucking up, NOFX has decided to call it a day after a legendary run. No matter your opinion, there is no denying the impact that Melvin, Smelly, Hefe, and Mike have had on not only punk rock as a whole, but each one of us as individuals. After attending both shows (the infamous 2018 tour where NOFX was kicked off and their return in 2019), I guess I can be considered a pro on how to hold this festival. Here are five tips to not only help you survive, but have fun as well.


1) This should go without saying, but DON’T BE A MASSIVE DICK! While most of the people who I interacted with were chill and super nice, there always seems to be someone who thinks they are the main character. That’s not how that works, Becky! Just keep a look out for your fellow concert-goer, and report to staff if anything seriously egregious takes place. If you’re camping, be considerate of your neighbors. This also includes the people working the event: any kind of vendor, medical, custodial, and especially security. They have no qualms about bouncing people being jerks out on their asses.


2) Beer and liquor does not equal hydration! Sorry to break y’alls bubble. But unless you dig passing out from heat stroke, stay hydrated. If you’re camping, you can keep water at your site in a cooler. Pedilyte and Liquid I.V. are also options, and are good aids for hangovers. Fruits like pineapples, strawberries, watermelon, and oranges can help you stay hydrated as well. Cucumbers are great to put in water for an extra boost.


3) Sunscreen is your friend. Make sure you also bring some aloe vera and after sun lotion. That flight or drive home will seem longer if your back is as red as the YouTube icon. There’s not a whole lot of shade on the festival grounds, and what little there is goes fast. If you feel sick, head to the medical tent and they will help you out. Dermatologist suggest starting at 50 and going up in you are easily burnt.


4) Pay attention to the website and any updates on social media. The website will have the answers to most of your questions about what you can and can’t bring. If anything changes, that would be the place to check. Social media can also connect you to people who have attended before and can clarify any questions quicker then e-maiilng the people in charge. If camping, read what you can bring on the camp site. If you have second thoughts about bringing an item, it’s better off being left at home. Last time the event was held, some dude brought an honest of God hunting knife and threw a fit about it being taken till Monday. Why did you bring a hunting knife in the first place, my G?!


5) Don’t worry about being cute. By the time the show ends, you’ll look like shit and smell just as worse. Sunscreen and chapstick with SPF are all that you need. Ohio is dreadfully hot during the summer and again, little to no shade. Leave the leather jacket at home on this one.


I know these are more basic than a white girl during the fall season on Instagram. But take it from a pro: these work.

Heather is your local neighborhood emo, hippie, punk, witch. Full time mom and college student, she enjoys pro wrestling, gardening, and axe throwing. She has lived out her childhood dream of marrying the human equivalent of her favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turle, Michaelangelo.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *